As a Little Child

Of course you will recognize the phrase from the NT when  Jesus says, Verily I say unto you, Except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven.

 I have to admit whenever I hear this idea I feel..something. Unsettled?  Why? Maybe I think it’s unfair. Does Jesus not remember how hard children are?! This scripture makes me feel a little childish and mentally throw a teeny tiny temper tantrum! And that is definitely not getting me closer to heaven.  I think the key word here is little, because it implies a purity and an innocence. A toddler throwing a tantrum is developmentally appropriate. Me throwing one in traffic for example just isn’t as forgivable. Many have differentiated Jesus’ meaning with words child-like vs childish. So this verse, “Unless you become as little children, you will not enter the kingdom of heaven” tells us we have something to learn from children. That there is a distinctive difference between adults and children.

To me, the most obvious difference between little children and adults is play. Little children love to play. To be stereotypical, I think dads like to play. My mom self, and many of my mom friends, if we do it, do it out of duty. Not my cup of tea. I’d much rather have a cup of tea, and a book, and talking, and walking. But play?

So is that really what Jesus is referring to? Be able to play like children? And I think, ultimately, yes. 

So what is the deal with play? Scholars have told us it’s foundational to children’s learning and growth and not just because it gets energy out. Pretending is transformational to children and experts say more crucial than structured learning. Learning how to play sets kids up for a healthy social life. Kids that are good at playing know how to give and take. The children who are very selfish-who always demand “my way!” eventually do not have anyone to play with. And unless they adapt and change their ways, turn into adults who do not have anyone to play with either.  “You cannot enter the kingdom of heaven unless you learn how to play” is a decent interpretation. Not that we need to build blocks or jump on the tramp in order to enter into the kingdom of Heaven. Playing is less about specific activities and more about specific behaviors and Heaven will be filled with people who know how to play.

Not because God likes making arbitrary rules of who gets in and who’s out. But because the Kingdom of Heaven is a society of relationships. Zion, where we are One with each other, where we make room for each other. Doctrine and Covenants 130:2 states: "That same sociality which exists among us here will exist among us there, “ If we don’t relearn how to play like children who are so naturally good at it, it’s not that God will cut us off. We won’t want to be in the Kingdom of Heaven in the first place. 

One thing that makes play so great is there is often no end goal in mind. And probably one reason why I have a hard time joining in. I want to get things done, get things accomplished. Get boxes checked. But these same good intentions can also make me miserable if I don’t balance them out. Children playing stay in the present moment. And enjoy the present moment. As adults, we could feel a lot more joy in our lives if we stayed and enjoyed the present. If we saw the good and the beautiful in the moment, even while washing the dishes. Running water, food, people to feed… Being in awe at our children’s faces and personalities and full of gratitude for the people and relationships in our lives. Men are that they might have joy. Even here on Earth. By noticing. In the present. 

Besides becoming socially adept, and staying present, Playing and pretending is how children make sense of the world, it’s how they try on the world and “practice” becoming new identities. What is it like to be a mother? A father? A teacher, a cop, a robber? Let’s pretend and find out. Pretending is a form of imitation. Which is the closest thing to actually doing it. But isn’t that just for children? Haven’t we grown out of pretending and imitating. No, never. Paul instructed, “Be imitators of me, as I am of Christ”  Pretending to be someone else allows for new perspectives for children and adults. Stepping into another’s shoes. Feeling what they feel. Pretending is the precursor for compassion and empathy. More Christlike attributes. I think it’s even important to pretend to be the robber, the bad guy. We all have the bad guy in us. And it’s much better to “play” with that side of us, than to take it seriously and be that side of us.

 And don’t we often have to “act” first, pretend we are better than we currently are? I don’t think it’s fake or insincere even. “That natural man is an enemy to God.” We often have to act before the true conversion happens. A marriage therapist, Dr. Snarsch, says, “ “You don't think your way to a new way of living. You live your way to a new way of thinking.” Doesn’t this line up with Moroni when he said, Ye receive no witness until after the trial of your faith”  Often we have to leap into faith. Take the step. Imitate the mother or father we want to be, the spouse we want to be, the disciple-before we are that disciple.

We don’t use words like pretend so we don’t necessarily realize it’s baked into our ordinances, celebrations, and worship services. 

The sacrament is our most sacred ritual, and in it, we are recreating, essentially pretending Jesus’ death.  

The sacrament is a service that is really a funeral of sorts with speakers honoring Him and Priesthood holders acting as pallbearers, carrying the symbols of His body. The sacrament cloth is a stand in for the burial cloth. When you look at the bread and water trays covered with the cloth, it’s not hard to imagine that as Jesus’ body. I don’t believe this is morbid, but potentially profound. If that’s what we saw when we looked at the sacrament table, wouldn’t we be filled with much more reverence and respect?  It’s in this physical pretending, not just cerebral thinking, that changes us. The consuming of the bread and water, taking Jesus Christ into us, is much more empowering and transformational. Baptism and temple ordinations also have elements of pretend that we “play” with to transform ourselves into something higher. The outward imitation-the physical “doing“ at a lower level is both practice for the real thing, and IS the real thing.

And it’s true of every type of growth and learning. Who here has learned how to ride a bike reading a manual? It could help. There are so many things to remember. Look ahead, keep your wheel straight, go fast enough, etc etc. But the doing it, the going for it, that’s when all the elements click into place and becoming an actual bike rider happens.

One reason play is basically synonymous with fun is that it’s voluntary. Once a child (or adult) is forced to do something there is no play. Play is about willing participation. This is what Jesus wants from us. And wants us to give to each other. Not try to control our children or spouses lives but encourage, support, cheer on, and play! Relationships are better with a play mindset because there is freedom there. There is curiosity and inquisitiveness involved. Instead of knowing and expecting how your spouse should be, we are more open minded and less judgemental about their habits and choices. There are many great ways to define humility, but not having all the answers is a good one. It opens up a space to be full of love. And this is exactly how King Benjamin described children and the qualities we can learn from them–Being humble and full of love.

Last year I read CS Lewis’ book Mere Christianity and in it he talks about becoming children of God. Speaking as if we aren’t yet. But of course we are Children of God. Literally. So what is he talking about. Think of what a seed is. A watermelon seed is a mini manifestation of a watermelon. When it grows up it will look like its mother, a watermelon. We too, as we grow should look and reflect our Heavenly Parents. We literally start out as seeds of our earthly parents. And for better and worse we reflect them. You look just like your mother. I am so lucky that if someone said, “You act just like your mother,” it would be an honor. How wonderful it would be if, people could say that about us referring to our Heavenly Father and Mother. You are just like them! I see them in you! And we do say this to people. You are so Christ like! That is our calling and hope. To be so aligned with God’s will and desires we are One with him. Someday. That I think is what CS Lewis means when we must become children of God. Of course we can’t do it on our own. But utterly depending on his atonement. 

This Gospel is not a set of propositions we are to memorize or even spout off to anyone who will listen. The Gospel is meant to be lived, from the ground up. Acted out with hope and joy and gratitude. Through play! There’s an old saying I heard recently that goes, “Don’t be so heavenly minded, you’re of no earthly good.” Instead of thinking about love, go outward and love. Instead of thinking of heaven and high ideas, go get your hands dirty. Another thing children love to do.

I told my daughter I had to speak this Sunday, and did not tell her at all my subject. But she’s a prophet. She said, “Mom, just don’t be too serious.” I’m telling you, kids get it. 

I love this gospel and what it teaches us. To be truthful I need this talk more than anyone. I love thinking and reading and the Biblical truths resonate with me and feel so good. I get a kick out of symbolism and history and learning different perspectives and ideas. Listening to a podcast on helping others is so much easier than helping others. But it’s when I serve with a playful mindset-willingly, with curiosity, with no expectations that the real magic happens. And it ends up being so much more fun than listening to a podcast. Playing and sharing joy with others will lift us and get us through this also sometimes overwhelming and sometimes too-serious life. I believe Christ is our Savior. I believe he un-does all unhappy endings. Through his resurrection and ours, he transforms every sadness into joy. 

(2025 talk)